- A small public service announcement for anyone planning an event
Floristry is a notoriously guarded industry when it comes to sharing information. I might be going out on a limb here, but I’ve pieced together that there’s an underground trend moving through the wedding and event industry, and beyond. It’s rarely spoken of openly, yet it leaves a trail of baffled, slightly deflated small business owners in its wake.
I’m talking about ghosting.
You might know it - it starts out with an enthusiastic DM or enquiry form, multiple back-and-forth emails, perhaps a free consultation where you share your best ideas, (and in extreme cases) a mood board and curated quote. Then, radio-silence. No “thanks anyway,” no “we’ve gone in another direction”, just an awkward fade-out.
Don’t get me wrong, I get it! Life gets busy. I’ll even admit I’ve done it myself, usually when I’m overwhelmed, under pressure, or just not sure what to say. Budgets shift. Sometimes you meet another florist, photographer, or cake artist who simply gets your vision more.
But here’s the thing: for many small creative businesses, those proposals aren’t thrown together lightly. They might take hours of communication, thought, planning, and heart, all done in good faith, before we even know if you’ll hire us. Some of us have streamlined our systems to work more efficiently, but the irony is - moving too quickly can sometimes work against us if it makes a customer feel we haven’t poured in enough love from the very first email.
So, in the spirit of mutual respect and keeping our creative communities thriving in an increasingly uncertain economic climate, here’s my light-hearted, yet earnest, Guide to Ghosting (Responsibly).
1. Send a simple “thanks but no thanks.”
It doesn’t have to be epic. Two lines will do:
“Thanks so much for your time and ideas. We’ve decided to go in a different direction, but really appreciate the effort you put in.”
I promise we won’t be offended. In fact, we’ll appreciate the closure.
2. Make a template.
If you’re contacting multiple vendors in the tempest of event planning, take a few minutes to draft one kind, thoughtful “thanks but no thanks” email and save it. You can tweak it for each person or send the same version to all. It saves you emotional energy while still giving every vendor the dignity of a reply - and it signals them to release your date and update their schedule without wondering.
3. Offer one piece of feedback.
If you can, tell us why you didn’t go ahead. Was it the style? The budget? The click? One piece of constructive feedback can help us grow.
4. Share the love anyway.
If you genuinely liked the service or ideas (but didn’t book), consider leaving a positive Google review. You might write:
“We didn’t end up using [so-and-so] for our event, but their customer service and ideas were fantastic.”
Those words might help the right future client find us.
5. Say what you did love about the vendor you chose.
Even if we weren’t the one, it’s good to know what caught your eye elsewhere. Sometimes it’s simply a creative fit, and that’s okay.
In a nutshell - ghosting might be standard on dating apps, and maybe we’ve all become a little desensitised in the digital age, but in small business it’s a modest kindness that can turn a less-than-positive experience into an encouraging, even educational one.
We don’t expect everyone to book us - but we do appreciate knowing you valued our time enough to say so. That, in itself, is a gift!
And a final thought (read: admission): if you’ve ever been ghosted by me, I promise to do better next time.
Yours,
Domenica
Founder & Lead Designer
Lupin Botanical